Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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