I need help removing her.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Randomize
