Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
