break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
