How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
