So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
