he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
