id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
