The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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