Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Farmville is her only friend.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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