we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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