So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Randomize
