shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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