I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
