I think I can smell my own vagina right now
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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