After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Randomize
