You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
