these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
