May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize