I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
