I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
