Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
