He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
