i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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