every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
