He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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