I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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