But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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