making cat noises will not fix the situation.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Randomize
