It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I could fuck to npr.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
