how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
