New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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