I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
