your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
there's paper in my vomit.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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