Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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