I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize