You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Still dying that you shit outside
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
