i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
