we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
