How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
this boner is exhausting
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
