Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
