His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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