Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
