Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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