Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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