whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
