I got chris browned last night
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
