I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
