no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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