im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
