i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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