i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
