i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
