Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
