brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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