The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
