And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
