i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
40s are totally the cure
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
