hotel room ftw
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
