you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
