you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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