we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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