You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
