I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I am spending my child support on dildos
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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