i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
