So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
