Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
