There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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